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Superhero versus Super Victim
By Emily Carrington
Alexa Piper asked me to delve further into some of the topics I ranted about in a past post
Let’s talk about the superhero/super victim tropes.
From the “insane” wife in Jane Eyre to the partially disabled Ricky in The Longest Journey, two books I wanted to love, disabled characters are treated like shadows or little more than their disability. I’m not going to rag on the authors of either book because that’s impolite, they’re dead, and their opinions in the books reflected the mores of the times.
But it’s past time for society as a whole to wake the hell up and stop confining characters—and real, live people—to stereotypes.
Before we talk about the superhero/super victim trope:
Let’s talk about an uncomfortable topic: ableism. Ableism is like white privilege: it’s uncomfortable to talk about, it makes us squirm, and it’s absolutely necessary to admit it exists before we move forward.
What does ableism look like?
Ex-girlfriend: “Your disability is gross.”
Waiter (to sighted person who’s sitting with a blind person): “And what would she like?”
Clerk (in a store, pointing): “It’s over there.” This one doesn’t work with a blind person or a person in a wheelchair who can’t see over the racks.
Another clerk, turning away in the middle of a sentence so a deaf person can’t, if they have that capability, read their lips): “If you’ll follow me.”
And, the ever-popular: “You’re deaf/blind/in a chair/pick-your-poison, so you must be good at…”
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Okay, now that I’ve made you really uncomfortable, I’m going to tell you this: change is easier than you think. Try using some person-first language and see how it renews your perspective.
“My nephew is visually impaired.” (Identifying him first as part of your family and then as disabled.)
“My daughter has a friend who’s deaf.” (Identifying the second person as a friend first.)
Also try asking someone if they need help instead of assuming they do. Frankly, some of the reason (not all!) that disabled people get grumpy is because others insist on “helping” without asking if help is needed.
Examples of this from my own life:
Someone grabbing my arm to hustle me across a busy street when I’m perfectly capable of figuring out when it’s safe to cross.
Someone feeding my guide dog because “he looks hungry.”
I’m NOT saying that, as disabled people who do things differently, having an able-bodied person nearby who’s willing to help isn’t occasionally great. Please just ask first. We’re much more likely to respond kindly in that case.
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Superhero:
“You’re blind/deaf/mentally challenged; you must be great at…”
There aren’t more blind musicians. A blind person has as much chance of becoming a musician as the rest of the population.
There aren’t more mentally challenged people who bond with animals than in the rest of the world.
And there aren’t more disabled people who are grumpy/happy/inspirational than any other group of people.
When anyone makes this assumption, it’s the equivalent of saying, “Happy Mother’s Day!” to random women on the street who may or may not have children. It’s also just like assuming any number of stereotypes:
African Americans are faster runners/good at sports/great at rhythm.
White people smell like dogs when they’re wet.
Asian Americans are smarter/better at school.
Even the most “celebratory” stereotype whittles a person down to that one quality. And if they don’t have that quality, they can be made to feel inferior.
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Super Victim:
“You’re so inspirational. You get up every day, dress yourself, walk around, and keep a smile on your face.”
“He can’t hear/see/walk/pick-your-poison. It must be awful for him.”
“I’ll pray for you, because God/Allah/Yaweh never wanted this for you.”
The first one emphasizes the ability to adult well. Unless the speaker says that to every adult they meet, it’s condescending.
For the second one, how is the speaker judging quality of life? By ableist means.
For the third, the speaker is assuming the disabled person wants to be cured, which is presumptuous.
Good rule to live by: If you wouldn’t say it to an able-bodied person, don’t say it to a disabled person. We all enjoy an acknowledgement sometimes, but no one appreciates a condescending pat on the head.
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Emily Carrington has been writing erotic gay romance since 2011, starting with Dragon in Training 1: Dragon Food. In 2018, Emily branched out into transgender romance with a trilogy and a single title: Lady Troubles trilogy and Midnight Sons, which is part of the Wolf Schooled trilogy. This year, Emily has branched out further by writing a sweet lesbian romance, Love and the Living Tree.
She is a great believer in diversity so her books are full of people of color, people with disabilities, and different religions.
